2004-06-27 - 8:52 p.m.

I don’t have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

It is the general consensus around these parts that I am over a week removed from my birthday. But that’s no problem for a hardcore fellow like me, because I’ve adopted the lifestyle of "wanting to rock n’ roll all night, and party everyday". Whoever it was who spoke those insightful words of inspiration, God bless you! But before we get too far ahead of ourselves, I would like to address some rumors that have been circulating around the proverbial grape vine. It seems to me that some people have it in their minds that there were...nude pictures of Dusty taken at my party. Well, I’m here to set the record straight once and for all!

READ ON TO SEE THE EXCLUSIVE NUDE PICTURES OF DUSTY! YOU SAW IT HERE FIRST!

But first thing’s first! As you will all soon discover, anyone who’s anyone was at my shin-dig. And there were very few regions of butt shaking that were left unscathed by these particular participants. When in Rome...

A booming "Huh!" is in order. But just what were these drunken hooligans all wrapped up about? Well, as many of you are very much aware of, there ain’t no party if there ain’t no chicks. And trust me faithful readers, there were only the hottest of the hot in my establishment that night!

Don’t tell anyone, but I’m pretty sure she liked me the best.

And that’s when things started to get a bit out of hand. You see, whenever there’s competition amongst males for a nearby hottie, it’s very common that the guys will pull whatever it is they can to get ahead of the competition. And when that happens, everyone is a winner! Except for Dusty.

Yes, this pretty much marks the moment things got crazy and clothes started coming off; Dusty’s clothes, in particular. And where there are nude bodies, there certainly are clothed Alans with their cameras! So here it is! DUSTY’S WANG!

Edit: Shortly after posting this entry, I was called up by Dustin’s lawyer telling me to remove the picture of Dusty’s enormous howdoyoudo. After refusing, I was offered a very large sum of money to edit it, and thus the original was replaced. But to compensate, here’s another picture of Dan with his shirt off.

Yeah...that’s the stuff.

The Amazing Spider-Man - Web of Spider-Man