2004-07-05 - 11:07 p.m.

Perfect practice makes perfect

I know what you’re thinking. "Why the hell did I show up at Pandaman27? I must have clicked the wrong link or something."

Well, I implore your reconsideration to stay, as I am about to attempt documentation of my recent chronicle to the so-called “Windy City”. And to be completely honest, there were quite a few antics to behold. I suppose that’s the least that can be expected when one puts together one nuclear physicist, a Pokemon master and a green Chrysler Pacifica and puts them on an isolated five hour course to the depths of INSANITY! Read on as I bring you every painstaking detail with an extreme brutality that mocks all basic morality in sight!

You can’t get this kind of action in any other journal folks!

So what’s the deal with Target’s giant balls? I mean, my local Target pretty much just has a logo and some doors. But Chicago? They had it in mind to place these huge red spheres at the store’s entrance all willy-nilly.

See, that’s exactly why you don’t want giant red balls in the front of your store. All you’re gonna get are a bunch of bozos running around sitting on them for their own enjoyment. Heh...bozos...get it? No? Well, how about this?

Now that’s something we’d all travel miles for. Just the sheer beauty, immensity and power...wow! In my honest opinion, I don’t think there’s really a greater sight on God’s green Earth than th-...wait, hold on. Yeah, shoot. Wrong picture.

There we go. As I was saying, there really isn’t anything more amazing than that Except for maybe this.

You should have been there guys. I mean, the urinals were like magic; you just put away your wang, walk away and whoosh! Flushes automatically! Makes you wonder if they’ve got a guy watching you that flushes the thing from a distance or something. I guess that could be rather off-putting to those who value "privacy", but that’s a luxury that I pretty much did away with ever since Big Brother started watching me. I mean, check out what I found on the internet the other day.

Don’t act surprised. I can get chicks as well as the next guy. So...did you get that one? Chicks? Eh? Okay, well, there really wasn’t all that much else that Robbie, Trip and I did during the vacation. There were just some strip club visits, Deviant Art photos and police chases on the highway. The usual junk. So I guess you can stop reading now if you want.

Oh c’mon! You had to get that one...

The Amazing Spider-Man - Web of Spider-Man